Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Speedily, More-than-trickling Brooke!

[listening to the Gravitation soundtrack]

I feel like life's streaming along merrily okay?

Monday, April 27, 2009


I don't know whether it was the weekend getaway, or the rhythmic swing dancing this evening, or just the pure physical exertion of the dancing - but I feel at peace. I feel calm and steady. I feel that whatever outside influences might try to creep under my skin or break my bubble of contentment, that they will fail.

It was probably a combination of all those 3 possibilities which brought me here; those and my month's affirmations. Affirmations have given me focus as well as a feeling of constant improvement - a feeling or a condition that I always crave.

My Affirmations:

1. I am friendly

2. I am patient

3. and I am
full of energy.

And above all of that, right now I'm steady. That's the best way I can think of to describe this. It's like my 'self' is giving off constant and strong vibrations, in tune with my affirmations and in tune with who or how I am choosing to be.

So many thoughts are coming to me.

~ "When I was young I did what I felt like, now I do what I choose", Author unknown.

~ In Swing and in dancing, as the man or the lead you need to know where you're going so your partner can follow. Be strong in your lead and in where you're going, be confident. Lessons from Shane at Swing It.

~ "The superior man must have freedom, presence, and purpose" - David Deida in The Way of the Superior Man.

I feel that I am choosing how I will act, and thus who I will be. I may feel the same old choking feeling in my throat when something someone does bothers me, or if someone doesn't act the way I wish they would, but I don't act on that as I might usually. I stop. I breathe. I relax and focus on what I want to be and how I want to act. I choose.

By choosing, I am leading. I am taking myself and those around me in the direction that I wish to go. As opposed to letting situations spiral, directed my unfocused passion and giving in to my emotions. Instead of being their slave, I focus their energy into my direction.

By choosing, I give myself freedom. And by choosing to live by and to vibrate around my affirmations and core wishes, I have presence. Or at least I think I give off that image. I feel it, that is certain.

I feel good, and positive. But now I should end for tonight. There are other things I want to do ;)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Melodies and Enchantments.

Listening to Train, I find that ghosts of the past are coming out of forgotten corners. They're settling and standing. I'm breathing in old air, and I'm seeing and feeling old friends and bus routes. I have old feelings and old perspectives...

But I find myself dealing better than I have. I think I've reached a point where I can see and feel these parts of my history without confusing them with my present, or my future. I think that may be because my present and my future are so strong now.

Ghosts come from everywhere, and from nowhere at once. Ghosts stalk, ghosts ambush and ghosts dance with you wherever you may be. I see them and I welcome them, I walk with them and I dance with them, but I know them for what they are.

They're fond memories of how I got to here. I don't regret, I don't miss, I don't wish. I remember, I embrace, and I give thanks. Then I cast my eyes around my 'now', and I see love and joy and fun times everywhere. I see a healthier frame of mind and a bolder spirit.

I'm happy ^^

Monday, April 20, 2009

Wonderful World.

Googling and Wikipedia-ing the Ottaman Empire quickly led me to looking at maps of the world, which led me to Virtual Globe. It's quite a cool little tool actually. And after much spinning around and exploring and general looking, I've decided I'd like to live here ->
...for a while anyway. One day.
Looking at the globe made me realise just how little of this world I've actually seen. Sure, I've been to some major cities, but what about all the places in between? What about the forests and deserts that I havn't even glimpsed? The tiny remote villages and the valleys and mountains?
Makes you want to go exploring doesn't it? O.O

Psychic Landscapes Forever!

I am Friendly.
I am Full of Energy.
I am Patient.

These are the affirmations which I'll be saying to myself a million times a day, everyday until mid next month. Apparently that's how long it will take for my brain to reprogramme itself into actually believing these things subconciously.

And while looking on the mind and the psyche -

It occurred to me thisafternoon while listening to some old "Metric" albums, just how much the landscape of my mind has been shifted and reconstructed over the years. Listening to this music from another time brings back vague memories of a mind that was drastically different to the one I posess today. Looking at maps of the two minds, it would take a very skilled reader indeed, to realise that they belong to one and the same person in different points in time.

Whole mountains have been rearranged, flattened and formed. Oceans have dried up and been created elsewhere. Magical monuments have been raised and erased and the stars themselves have grown larger and dissappeared.

It's all part of my personal natural evolution I guess. And there's no better or worse, but I like where I am now, just like I liked where I was then. We're always where we need to be, and where we need to get to is always waiting ahead of us.

The thought immediately sprung into my mind that if only I could hear Metric's new album, I would get where I'd need to move to. Me and these silly thoughts.

*scribbles down the new album title to download tonight*


Sunday, April 12, 2009

Adventures and Exploits.

I won't be drinking for the rest of the month;
Or smoking, or eating bad food, or doing anything that's bad for my body.

I was just sitting in the park on the East Perth foreshore trying to still the pool of buzzing thoughts in my mind. As I soaked into the place around me, and the world, and 'evertything', and likewise let 'everything' soak into me, I found that I've ill treated this gift I have to live in. This frame that my soul resides in that allows me to experience the world.

And I've not experienced the world as fully as I might have. From hence forth I'll be more daring and more bold in my adventures; I won't say 'no' to opportunity so much. And these adventures won't just be scaling mountains and diving deep oceans - they'll be exploring the depths of the souls and hearts of others, and appreciating more fully the relationships I'm offered by others. And I'm very lucky to have a guru in this matter, my 'fountain-of-love' Jessie.

And in her also I hope to have a partner in my other adventures and explorations of the physical world.

I've always had a great appreciation for the realms of the mind and of thought - the worlds of curiosity and contemplation. From this appreciation I feel a strong and sudden urge to read more. Starting with finishing my current book - Tales from a Thousand and One Nights.

I've decided to write essays or reflections on everything I read. These may tie into the other blog I'm starting where I'll reflect on love.

But another adventure awaits me now and I can feel it's impatience pulling. Time to take a stroll with my mistress ;)

Graft the Giraffe

I've just had a rather inspiring conversation with an old friend of mine who I've not spoken to in person since school. It's amazing but even through a relatively short Facebook comment I could feel clearly a sense of dedication, drive and commiment in him that was striking and admirable. It's something I think that's been missing from my life for a little while now.

I've made a decision, or rather a few decisions.

Basically I'm going to be more driven and committed.

These are the ways I'll start -

One. I'm going to start gyming well and getting fit. 3 times per week +. No excuses.

Two. I'm going to start a new blog (a second blog, to run along side this one). It's going to be all about observations on love. Stay tuned and Good evening ;)

Saturday, April 11, 2009


Something about throwing the white sheets on the bed in the bright warm sunlight of this morning has lifted my heart.

Something about sharing kisses and kind pats with my darling cats has brought me into this day with the best of spirits.

Something about knowing I'll once again share a lovely Easter with the beautiful, 'fountain-of-love' Jessie makes the icing on my day.

Happy days ^^

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


Step, step, step go my feet on the way into town.
Click, click, click go the cross-lights that guide my way.
People stream, in and out, of buildings and through the streets,
Oh! Such a wonderful day it is, to be on errands in town!

Hand the man my card and load money into it from another card,
"Thank You Sir, Good day Sir", and I'm on my way again.

Hand the lady my card, to load money into a magic vault,
"Thank You Maam, Good day Maam", and I'm on my way again.

Drop a cheque into a silent box, magic money for the physician I see,
Clip, clop, clip, clop and I'm on my way again.

I look left and I look right and people still stream around,
and Oh again! Such a wonderful day it is to be on errands in town!

I still my mind but keep my pace, I'm not my body - I'm more,
My legs are tools and not all me, the same as the car or the bike.

I open my mind and stillness I feel, all is calm and well.
I open my mind and awe I feel, for the magic that I'd missed.
I'm part of it and I'm away from it, the unyeilding spirits that drive the 'all'.

I feel the sun on my face and back, I feel it move right through,
Oh! Such a wonderful day it is, to be alive and to be 'me'!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A 'Moment'

This morning: more evidence to support the argument that something is indeed wrong somewhere in the world of my mind.

Article of Evidence #1: I fail to stop and run into a taxi with no apparent reason.

This is on top of the many existing questionable behaviours and exeriences.

I seem unable to remember basic facts about my recent activities, and have a perception of time where the past, present and future appear to mix and toil into a single, messy, inconceivable 'moment'.

My limbs and actions often seem somehow disconnected from 'myself', they seem alien.

My vision itseld seems to be the second hand vision of an entity that isn't me, somehow blurry, fuzzy, and slanted.

What isthe cause of all of these things? When did they begin, or have they just always been this way? Is this in fact 'normal', and I've just yet to adjust?

I have no answers to these questions, so I float, endlessly, upon these swirling mists of this 'moment', and gaze at all upon me.

Monday, April 6, 2009

More Goals

7 minutes left on lunch so I thought I'd make a quick post. I just came accross a really cool website - It's got some pretty versatile tools on there which seem just as useful in personal situations as in business.

One of the things that came up yet again was goals, and it suggested I try having a main goal for different areas of life, so here's my try.

Attitude - Keep positive, friendly, calm and broadminded.
Career - Start and own a cafe by 2016.
Education - Get my BA Commerce by the end of 2012. Get a PhD in something by 2022. Love learning.
Family - Be supportive, loving and fun. Be married by end of 2013. Have kids by 2018.
Financial - Be earning 100k/year by 2015. Have a residual income of $100/week by then too.
Physical - Do a social physicall activity once a week, every week - such as rock climbing or dancing. Also - get and keep a six pack, which will mean the rest of me isn't flabby either.
Pleasure - Have an adventure at least once a month, anything from hiking to holidaying. Also - meet friends for 'something' every week.

I know I fail in some of those areas sometimes, but I'm succeeding more and more. It's all a journey I guess..