Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Farmer McDougall's Animal Pen.

One day a goat walked up to a rabbit in its pen and noticed that the rabbit was eating its carrot ridiculously quickly, so he opens his mouth and words spilled out.

"Hey Rabbit, how come you're eating that goddamn carrot so freaking fast?"

And the Rabbit said - " Bless you!".
And she continued munching away.

Meanwhile the Goat wasn't satisfied, no not satisfied at all. "What sort of answer is that!?"

And from the rabbit came the steady continued sound of ridiculously quick munching.

And so the Goat grabbed one of the carrots with his teeth and began to chew in bewildered frustration. And he immediately realised that he was not in fact chewing, but that the carrot was forcing itself into and through his mouth, remarkably quickly.

And on the face of the small little rabbit was a sly and devious grin. "Bless you!".

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Years Eve | Wednesday | A day.

Update on my New Year's Eve Wednesday.

Woke up. Kissed a girl.

Watched a girl getting ready and hummed appreciatively in my mind.

Got up. Made Chai tea and drunk it from my mug while walking to the bus stop, escorting my woman.

Spent time online, on facebook and on little nothings.

Made a plan for money and was happy with it.

Finalised my housemate's leaving, and paved the way for a new one.
Cleaned the house. Spick and span, and shiny enough to force a smile out of the toughest critic.

Spent many moments patting, stroking and playing with cats, who spent the day sunning and stretching; and generally just lazing about.

Picked up a girl with another kiss and stole her home.
Danced/Played/Tickled a little.

Now listening to the Cardigans on my sheeny clean desk, and thinking about playing DDR...

- Getting ready.
- Making vege-sausage rolls.
- Getting to the party.


Overwhelmed? | Overcoming. | Being.

I don't think I'd ever really go back no matter how easy or difficult I think it might be, because I moved from there for a reason. And the freedom and independance we enjoy now could never exist 'within the nest from which we came'.

But then, what's so enjoyable about independance? I think it's just more condusive to a greater breadth of learning. You need to struggle and strive more, and you enjoy and relish more in your successes.

It seems I've been a little less than successful of late. But that's not to say I'm not optimistic, happy or hopeful. I've just learnt important lessons, and I'll be wiser in future. Because debt's not a happy thing, and it detracts from your potentiol for positive experience, if only because it consumes so much of your thought and time. It weighs on you even when you're not consciously thinking about it. And sometimes it feels like a tangle of weeds and vines that will not subside, and that will not be hacked away. But we'll clear them, slowly and tenderly, as if they were our closest friend, just moving on. Because that's really what they are - friends. They were experiences which taught us lessons that brought us new insight and new understanding. And we move on.

There's no need to let something so mundane take up so much of your thought! In the morning I'll create a plan and it will begin it's path to recovery. And it will be a gentle path, which allows and encourages for a happy freedom and for more experience =o)

Money won't make me happy, no matter how much it 'helps'. In the same way, there's no reason for debt to make me sad. That's not to say I won't make plans to change those circumstances, because I will. But all I do will be in a mindset of love and happiness, and a curiosity for adventure and experience.

I've just decided that tomorrow I will spend a day entirely without spending money, any of it; other than on the obvious things like electricity and water and gas - I'm not that extreme.

I'll focus on the kiss I know she'll grace me with when I wake. And I'll take full advantage of that chance to kiss her back, to share my smile with her, and to breathe in her smile and her warmth. I've said it before and I'll never stop saying it - she's like a fountain of love in my life.

I'll take the moments to watch my bub-cats, and to pat them, and to stroke them, as and when they wish to be patted and stroked - not just when I want it.

I've been listening to a podcast recently which talks about not wanting the things in your life to be something else, but to appreciate and love them as they are, because wanting to change everything stems from our desire and craving for control. Because we fear not being in control. And if someone asked you if you want to let fear rule your life, what would you say?

Like they say quite cheesily in Shortbus - "I choose to come from a place of love". And I'll love unconditionally and because I want to love. I want to love my beautiful, happy, caring and emotional girl, simply because I want to love her. I do love her.

I don't 'love her if she's this' or only 'love her if she changes to become that'. I'll love her and respect her on her life's journey no matter what. Or at least I'll strive to. And if we change and she changes and I find I don't enjoy my time with her any longer, then I won't stuggle to change her, we'll love each other, respect each other, and take new paths individually.

But for the moment I adore spending time with her. I don't tell her enough but her smile and her cheeky grins really do still warm my heart even after all this time. Every movement of her body in every action she takes, simply seeps with a radiating affection for those around her, and I adore her for that. She gets flustered and tired, and grumpy and run down, but who doesn't at some point? I'll help her where she wants my help, and let the dirt and the mud play through my fingers just as much as I'd let the clean crisp clouds in our up times.

Watching her in rest is so peaceful.

I'm very very happy. I think I'll go and kiss the bells goodnight, and try to slip into bed without waking her, and watch her some more before drifting inward.


Friday, November 21, 2008

The Missing Link Festival - Worries or Joys?

As has become a daily ritual, I spare more than a few moments worrying about the day we've been planning.

Will it work?
Will people come?
Will it be a 'success'!?

But it's success won't be purely a measure of large crowds and a sold out show. It'll be in the attitude and vibe of the day.

Be happy.
Be jubilent.
Be celebratory and gay.
Share an enthusiasm and appreciation for all things artistic, and it shall be - "A Success".


An Afternoon

Sitting on my bed at 4.11pm, I'm thinking about the productivity of my day.
At a glance I feel as though it's not been very.

But I woke in the arms of a loved one, with another loved one curled around my head, and another one by my feet.

I lazed and dressed, and walked to breakfast as 12, Tomato and feta on toast with black coffee.
Relatively healthy, filling, and fueling.

I stopped at the Asian deli and bought some Mee Goreng, and stopped at the record store and decided to begin a search for a record player.

We went for ice cream at Rifo's and ran jubulently home through the rain. Laughing, yelling, singing and relishing in fleeting touches.

I had some kisses and listened to some lovely music. I got some more music.

I lazed some more with the kittens and watched the latter half of I am Sam.

and now it's 4.15pm and I feel relaxed. Perhaps a little restless.

My batteries are recharging and my soul is easing in the saddle of my life, readjusting and recalculating.

A shower and some serious "Doll up" time is on the cards me think. For tonight after all, is another night.

Love x

Thursday, November 20, 2008

First Post

|| He wakes up and takes one quick look. And he goes back to sleep. ||

Darling, something's just not sitting right. Not quite so right.

Is it exhaustion?
Is it being under pressure?
Is it the weight of responsibility?

Is it, is it, is it.
What is it?

A slight heaviness of the eyelids, and an unrelenting feeling that sleep will make it all better. For a while now it's been this way. Has it been day, or weeks? Has it been months..?

It's a scunched up piece of paper in the back corner of your mind that's got a pull to it. It draws you and whispers to you, but you think if you unfold it it might scream.

You think. You try to think and a reason eludes you.

You follow reason and say to yourself and the world, "I'm okay". And then you don't think about it too much because we all know that thinking about something makes it more real. And who wants this to be real?

But what is it?

Let me tell you a story.

I'm a really happy guy. I'm stable, have a happy family consisting of a devoted, loving, beautiful girl and two happy cat-kids. We're pretty happy, you know?

I've got a stable job that brings in the bacon. I can pay the bills and go out on Friday's, and on Monday I get back to sluggin' it. I'm smart, I learn quick and things tend to go my way. No worries.

I'm pretty social. I talk to people in a happy friendly way. I compliment them and they don't much mind me. Not too bad ei?

But they don't call to see how I am. They don't invite me out or ask me over for tea. They don't care much really. It's to the point that I couldn't put a name to any of them.

My work is hard. It's draining and damn hard.

And that girl and those cat-kids I told you about? I drag on them too. I fail to deliver and I fail to succeed. I don't give them the timeor attention they deserve