Saturday, August 29, 2009

Crazy Wonderful Adventures

If everyday is a holiday in life, then everyday presents the possibility of a crazy wonderful adventure.

And given the right perspective, perhaps everyone's day, every day, might be one.

Today my crazy wonderful adventure involved a lovely pale girl, a long and winding sunny bike ride, a walk around a sunny green park with some dogs and friends, an episode of True Blood, whisking up some fried rice with a best friend, and dancing with a sister-in-law.

And the day is only half done.

Gosh I love life/this never-ending holiday/these crazy wonderful adventures. ^_^

Monday, August 24, 2009


Running through the darkness, lights rushing past and sweat trickling down my face and my body... I remember.

I remember the life this can give. I remember the ease with which it can wipe the confusion from your mind, and give you peace; clarity.

And maybe it wasn't just the running, in fact it was almost certainly also the Ben Lee I had on.

Lyrics about love, and oneness. Lyrics which resonate so strongly with my heart and soul that perhaps it's those vibrations that tear the clutter from my mind. Who knows.

But now once more I feel centered. At one with the world.

I remembered also the quick switch, that can be found in facing death in your own mind. Only for a moment, but enough to bring you to see things in scale. You are only as important as the trees, or the grass, or the clouds. And it's as natural as anything to love.

Once I thought that I must find love and give love. I thought I must seek oneness and create oneness in the world.

Love and oneness are here. They are everywhere inside us, everywhere outside of us, and everywhere between here and there, joining us like everything else in this universe.

So I open my eyes and I see. I feel it and I let it guide my actions.

Love. Oneness.

But how to keep this feeling? How to keep this clarity?

More books? More music? More running?

What about someone to share it with? Someone to glut my desire to put things into logical and verbally expressed capsules of understanding. I can understand now why people turn to a church. But a church is too dogmatic for me. Too rigid for my free spirited soul right?

Perhaps I simply need my own rituals. Rituals which will be my spirituality. My portal to the oneness, to God.

Running every morning in the darkness. That seems like a good start.

Holding the saying strong in my heart, that "I shall pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer not neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again". And perhaps I can extend that kindness to all existing creatures. Perhaps.

So so far I have be good and kind, that is,

Be loving

I have running, which may be simplified into saying let me

Be active and striving, both physically and thoughtfully.

Those seem like a good 2 commandments for my personal religion. What else? Other than my running, what other rituals may I take up?

The strongest that comes to mind is one that reminds me of this gift of life.

Wake each morning with the words on my lips: "I am completely amazed with this gift I have today."

Another that comes to mind is to

Be always smiling

And in an attempt to experience and grow and to learn fully - to

Always be wanting so see things from the other persons point of view

My point of view is relatively easy. It's in my mind. I will grow much more and satisfy my social hunger far more greatly if I am curious about others.

And these will be enough for now.

While she's here I think I'll kiss Jessie as much as I possibly can. But that's more of a personal thing =p Not that it isn't all personal stuff. =/

Sunday, August 23, 2009


If a future me read these entries he could be forgiven for thinking that I wasn't quite happy. Wasn't quite ready set. You know?

If seems the only times I come to this place are when my mind and heart need stilling. When the cascade of thoughts and feelings are too busy for my tranquil soul and so I need to stop. Sit down, stay still, and take stock.

Who am I? What are these thoughts? What are these feelings? Why isn't this ideal? What is ideal? How do I get there?

I am Marc, I'm positive and confident. I love the world and love to enjoy it. "I may only pass this way once, so any good I may do, let me do it now". Anything I may appreciate and enjoy, let me appreciate it and enjoy it now.

These thoughts are that this idiot across the partition from me is eating a hole in my chest, and I feel like throttling him. Am I jealous? He keeps name name name name dropping. Do I want a list of names to throw around? Am I lonely and grasping for air? No. I'm happy with my world, with my mind and with my heart. I enjoy my Jessie and my cats. Everyone I meet, everywhere, is my friend. Every living thing I encounter, every leaf and flower and insect, is my friend. Every inanimate object, every stream, every car, every pen, is my friend. Happiness is everywhere, because everywhere is the realisation that I'm a part of it all, and everywhere is the realisation that my mind is part and un-part of it all.

I crave international airports, where no one knows my name and I don't know the language.

These feelings, are they dissatisfaction? Are they thirst? Are these fang-toothed-butterflies flapping in my belly simply the unsung soldiers of my unconscious conscience? Am I not living fully? Am I not in line with who I want to be? Probably.

So it's not the lovely living creature across the partition from me. His comments, actions and ways were just prompt for me to realise who I need to be.

Jessie does that sometimes. Prompts me I mean.

I need to live and feel and experience. I need something different to remind me I'm alive.

I'm sky diving in a few weeks, but is living something I can allow myself to do only every few weeks?

I think it's time to call it a day at work and make it to the forest.

Forest here I come =o)

(PS friend. I know I probably shouldn't seek internal satisfaction in the external. I should have the strength to satisfy the internal with the internal. But really, how is the internal any more important than the external? How is my mind any more important than my body? Really? Food for thought.)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


The sounds of seagulls outside, remind me of the ocean.
I love the ocean, it makes me feel calm, soothed, and a part of something bigger than 'me'.

The seagulls remind me of the ocean.
It isn't only the ocean that can make me feel calm, soothed, and a part of something bigger than 'me'.

It's nice to remember at points throughout the day, how small we are, how big we are, how central we are, and how unimportant we are. Such a broad array of possible ways to see things, and the simple fact that there are so many ways, all based on other ways and other ways beyond them, makes you realise how unruled it all is.

Life isn't ruled by society, by the physical environment, by deep thought. Life is life, and we may only be here once.

Seek, savour, enjoy.

Love throughout, for from my learning, loving is just putting some of those feelings of connectedness and separateness into action. Plus for whatever reason, loving will make you happy. Love everyone you meet, you never know, it might catch on ;)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


The more I see this picture, the more I love the colours...Well done World.

Getting diluted.

One person can't fill a million different roles, not perfectly.

You see so often in relationships, it starts as lust and infatuation - you're drawn by the mystery of the unknown, the process of discovering someone new, the pleasure of a new experience.

Then it dulls and gets diluted by the administration and interdependance that builds over time.

Stay separate. You don't need anyone, no one else is your life.
Have your own time. You have better things to be doing than spending all your time with one person.
Have quality time. When you have moments, know what you want and make every movement, word and thought about that.

I think that last point is important. Especially when you're living with someone, it can be so hard to determine what time is quality and what's not. You lose track. You're there all the time. When you're reading, when you're studying, when you're making your food - they're always there. Are you spending time together? Not really.

Here's an experiment I'm going to try - don't be in the same room with someone if it's not time you're deciding to spend with them.

Let's see if things improve ;)

Sunday, August 2, 2009


Uni is going wonderfully.

It's enough to make me feel like I'm in Nirvana.

Joy. Challenges. Successes. Socialisation. Learning. Growth.

Boy aren't we lucky to have access to such wonderful education?
And to have access to all the opportunities that come after!