Wednesday, July 29, 2009


I looked at the picture I just made and the mouth's a little displaced.
The fear is a little displaced.

Looking within, my thoughts seems a little displaced. Not quite centralised as I have the impression they 'should' be. Are my emotions just as displaced?

I have a relatively solid idea of where I'm going.

I have a relatively solid idea of who I am.

Relative to a year ago.
Probably relative to a week ago.

Time moves, the second hand ticks by, I have the impression that I learn and grow most days.
But why?

Life and time feel and seem completely without reason.

So we dance. Dance dance dance.

And maybe some love.


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Being Wiser

The blog i was going to write -

Sometimes to easiest and quickest way to get past something you really don't want to do, is to simply rest into it and take a few steps. A few steps leads to a pace, and a pace will get it done.

The blog i need to learn to write -

Sometimes I can be such a hypocrit.

I have so many 'wonderful' ideas and philosophies, yet how often do I fail to live by them?
I know they're right and oh so much better than any alternative, I know they are - for me, right now - because I believed them into existence in my life. But they're difficult.

And loving is difficult. Loving someone else has nothing to do with what they feel for you or how they make you feel, not in my mind. There are other words for that. Loving someone is putting so much energy and effort into helping them grow - making them feel your love.

Sometimes loving someone isn't what you or they seem to want at the time. It's hard to love. Like it's hard to be loved.

Take that tiny step and move towards what you know is better, what you know will end better, and bring you to a better place.

Tiny steps make a pace, and a pace will take you to where you wanted to go.

"When I was young I did what I felt like, now I'm wiser I do what I decide to do."

Steaming Steady

Sometimes it's hard to keep a solid train of thought, or a solid train of feeling.
Sometimes the world just doesn't feel so solid, no not at all.

I'm warm in my smooth, soft black jumper. Snug.
Like a bear gently growling out his contentment with the world, gently growling right from the bottom of his belly.

And with a playful swoop, I'd sweep up that girl in an unending roll into oblivion.

And we'd lick on lolly pops, and walk on the windy pier.

But for now my throat isn't so sore and I'm very much enjoying my fresh home made super juice.

And for now the world's okay.
For now the world's pretty tangible.
For now the world is smiling on me, at me, and grinning ear to ear from inside me.
For now I'm part of everything and I feel a part of something.
For now I'm looking forward, looking inward and looking back.
For now I'm not really looking at all.

For now and always, everything is how it's meant to be, and is steaming steadily to where it needs to go.

Muscles has let me down.

The singer of this song -

Should have looked like this -