Thursday, November 20, 2008

First Post

|| He wakes up and takes one quick look. And he goes back to sleep. ||

Darling, something's just not sitting right. Not quite so right.

Is it exhaustion?
Is it being under pressure?
Is it the weight of responsibility?

Is it, is it, is it.
What is it?

A slight heaviness of the eyelids, and an unrelenting feeling that sleep will make it all better. For a while now it's been this way. Has it been day, or weeks? Has it been months..?

It's a scunched up piece of paper in the back corner of your mind that's got a pull to it. It draws you and whispers to you, but you think if you unfold it it might scream.

You think. You try to think and a reason eludes you.

You follow reason and say to yourself and the world, "I'm okay". And then you don't think about it too much because we all know that thinking about something makes it more real. And who wants this to be real?

But what is it?

Let me tell you a story.

I'm a really happy guy. I'm stable, have a happy family consisting of a devoted, loving, beautiful girl and two happy cat-kids. We're pretty happy, you know?

I've got a stable job that brings in the bacon. I can pay the bills and go out on Friday's, and on Monday I get back to sluggin' it. I'm smart, I learn quick and things tend to go my way. No worries.

I'm pretty social. I talk to people in a happy friendly way. I compliment them and they don't much mind me. Not too bad ei?

But they don't call to see how I am. They don't invite me out or ask me over for tea. They don't care much really. It's to the point that I couldn't put a name to any of them.

My work is hard. It's draining and damn hard.

And that girl and those cat-kids I told you about? I drag on them too. I fail to deliver and I fail to succeed. I don't give them the timeor attention they deserve

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