Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Sleepless and such.

Once again I'm sitting at work having a rather pleasant morning and feeling quite fresh.

I didn't sleep well last night, which is really unusual for me. I woke up at 1am and couldn't get back to sleep until 4am. It took a drink of water, a bike ride, a cup of tea, and a session of tv to get me back to dreaming. And then dream I did, which again isn't something I usually remember. They were really joyous dreams about looking through old picture books of memories and experience of the last few years. It was very focused on the experiences I've had with Jessie, and gave some fresh new perspective on how much I really do appreciate and enjoy her in my life. Not that I didn't really know that already.

So yes, I was surprised to say the least when I woke up feeling happy and fresh, although it's easy to puzzle out the 'happy' part ;-)

I think part of the cause of last night may be that I saw the doctor yesterday to get a referal to a psychologist just to help clarify my direction and my thinking. It felt really 'awakening' to put some of my recent actions and feelings into words. Having them literally put out there into the air brought it home how real they are. It's true what they say - writing down and talking about your thoughts and feelings is really theraputic. And so when I got home I made a special extra effort to do exactly that with Jess, and it was good to hear her thoughts and feelings back. It's great to have someone to bounce things off and to add even more depth to an idea.

My subconscious seems to have reacted well to those conversations and conscious thoughts, and fed me even more fodder through dreaming and keeping me awake last night.

Then this morning was 'as usual' wonderful, full of love - with the cats, with Jessie, and with the world. It's actually amazing to think that being so in love is 'usual' for me. Is life can be 'usually' so extraordinary, imagine the 'unusual' experiences I could potentially have! Imagine the joy of them!

I've got 1 sub so far and can feel more coming, so it's looking to be a great month workwise too, so long as I keep active.

I'm looking forward to calling Curtin and finalising some of the details on my application for mid year entry today. It's wonderful to think that in about 4 months I'll be starting! I'm really looking forward to studying and learning and growing again.

Through the person I spoke to about their sub this morning, and through talking to Rorie here, I've also discovered the new Ellington Jazz Club just here in Northbridge. I'm pretty keen to check that out too. It looks and sounds marvelous, and I've always wanted to try out a Jazz Club.


Best be off.

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