All around me - this bright, free moving and chaotic energy.
All around me - this delicate gracefulness, this softness.
It's so refreshing.
I think to myself about lust,
I think of that desire to drown myself in that energy.
I think of the impossibility of that desire ever being enough in my life.
I realise more and more that that desire is just a natural expression of something greater.
From books I've read and discussions I've had,
I'm think more and more that this attraction stems from my desire to be the complete opposite of that;
a desire to be clear of mind, to be strong in mind and in body,
a desire to be focused and balanced, to be "immovable in a sea of chaos";
not immovable through stubbornness or unknowing,
but immovable from a path of my choosing, "a destiny of my choosing".
Like I've said many times, I don't believe in a right or wrong in life,
only what we want and what we don't want.
So without knowing what you want, how can you be anything at all?
So I believe in choosing something - anything!
Then sticking to it.
Something that gives you joy.
Something that makes you happy.
Something, that is, that you want.
And so having chosen those wants,
having chosen that path,
I can now march steadily towards that end
- That end which can never end -
My life is clearer.
I am stronger,
& the world is more appealing, for it.
Laziness has been the source of my unhappiness.
Through commanding my life, and not being a slave to it, I know happiness.
Through commanding my life, I know love.
Love for myself, love for my lover, love for my world and for my friends.
For what true love is yielding to "illness", "bad luck", "jealously" or some aimless need to "possess"?
My love, like me, like my joy,
is strong, bold and confident.
It it unending.
And it makes me smile :)
And all that being said and done, I still appreciate that good old feminine energy just the same ;)